Leave Behind
by Aliylah
Summary: 3 years after the end of Angel season 5, Spike comes back. NOT a shipper fic, but it is SB. Set in L.A.


The bar was crowded, deafening, and the strobe lights flashed with blinding speed. Spike felt more at home than he had in a long time. He slumped down into one of the chairs at the bar and motioned to the bar tender.

"Vodka straight." Dark circles adorned his eyes and he was covered in a fine sheen of dust. He had spent the night following another young blonde slayer hoping it was her. It never was. He had realized some time ago that he was the only one still looking for her. The great pouf and the scoobie gang had long since given up looking. Ever loyal my ass. He barked a laugh, garnering looks from several nearby patrons. Spike payed them no mind. He didn't owe them anything. He didn't owe anyone anything anymore. He'd made sure of that. It wouldn't do to have his looking cut short by some pest who had done him a few odd favors here or there.

The lights dimmed even further, and the dance floor lit up. Spike glanced distractedly towards the young dancers. He figured one of them would be sober enough to make a good meal. A flash of blonde hair and Spike knew he had his next victim. he watched her dance from his spot at the bar. he arms were over her head and her hair was spilling over her naked shoulders. She was wearing a black leather skirt that was little more than a wide belt, and a thin red halter top. She was petite despite her tall stilettos. Standing slowly Spike made his way towards her. she was swaying to the music and he saw her take a drink from some boy. She still wasn't facing him, but damn if she wasn't just like her. Her movements got jerky and Spike was momentarily surprised how fast drugs took effect now. Spike moved up behind the girl and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Ello luv." The girl melted against him. (Who wouldn't?) Spike smiled and began to lead her outside. All of a sudden the girl turned and Spike found himself drowning in her eyes. The mossy color, the gold flecks. Just like-

"Buffy." Spike was frozen. The girl didn't seemed fazed at all. She just turned and wound her arms around his neck.

"Hello Spike." He breath on his ear was heaven and hell. Spike stumbled back. This girl was not his Buffy. She was darker, caked in make up and drugged out of her mind.

"The drugs won't last but a few more minutes." She said quietly. "I felt you the moment you walked in the door. I'm not surprised. My metabolism is way to fast for anything anyone has cooked up yet." Spike's mouth snapped shut. He moved back towards Buffy.

"Come outside with me."

"You're lucky I'm still this high." She slurred. Her eyes were glassy, but recovering quickly. Spike grabbed her arm and dragged her out the back door. Once outside he found himself pushed up against a wall with her tongue in his mouth. Spike growled and tried to push her off him. she just twisted so that his arms were caught in between them.

"Buffy, you have to stop this. You're going to regret it in the morning."

"One of us is going to regret tonight no matter what happens. Why not me for a change."

"You always regret time we spend tegether."

"Oh riiiight. Ha. I forgot that. Never mind then." she sang. "In that case." and she reached her nail up to her neck and cut herself where her shoulder met her neck. The smell of her blood hit Spike hard. He groaned.

"God."

"Has nothing to do with it," She laughed. Her neck was getting closer and closer to his mouth and Spike realized he wasn't moving. She was offering him herself and he was mesmerized by her blood. It was singing through her veins inches from his mouth. Spike lowered his head with agonizing slowness. And then her blood was on his tongue and he was lost. Dimly he felt her remove their pants and seat herself on him. He could feel her moving around him, but was too distracted to register anything but the taste of her on his tongue. Buffy began to writhe against him in the throes of what he recognized as an orgasm. That tipped him over the edge. He came with a roar and then slumped against the brick wall behind him.

"Damn slayer." Buffy just stared at him.

"I didn't think you'd do it ya know. Bite me."

"I-"

"I'm proud of you. I'm not the kid you knew anymore. I grew up."

"You were already grown up." Buffy laughed rawly.

"I wasn't grown up. I was a good fighter. I was mature. I could kick ass and wasn't afraid to die. I was still just a kid. Hell I was 16 when I met you. That's pretty young."

"25's not."

"Yeah well compared to 200 it is." Spike grinned ruefully.

"That it is."

"I live close by. If you're ever lookin for me just ask Bill for me. He's the bouncer here on Fridays and Saturdays. He'll get the message to me."

"But you won't tell me where you live." it was a statement.

"I don't trust you not to tell someone. You bit me, that doesn't make you less pussy whipped, it just means you're not getting any." Spike laughed.

"I guess you're right. I'm not with your scoobies anymore though luv. They stopped lookin for ya. Figured you for dead. I kept lookin. We had a falling out of sorts over it, so I left. Wasn't any fun without you there anyways." He smirked. "I still keep in touch with bit, but aside from that, not so much." Sadness flashed briefly over her face before her eyes hollowed out. She pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket and scribbled a number on it.

"Here. I don't mind you so much I guess. Just don't get annoying." Spike nodded. He had caught the underlying message. _If you do get to clingy I'll move again and you'll never find me._ He stood almost awkwardly for a moment and then turned and left. The girl he left in the shadows didn't wave goodbye. She didn't even wait for him to be out of sight before she returned to the club. There was no sentimentality.

Spike wasn't quite surprised by her actions. He knew she would be different. She had an odd look in her eyes as she left him standing under Sunnydale high. Almost like she didn't want to leave. She hadn't seemed depressed like when she had come back from the dead, just done. Like she was brushing her hands off after a job well done. He had suspected she wouldn't be doing much slaying after that.

When he finally caught up with the Sunnydale crew and found out that she had been missing for 3 years, he had felt like he knew it would happen. That was why he kept looking for her. They all thought she had been too worn out after the battle to protect herself. He figured she had done it that way on purpose. He had figured that she had just hopped a bus to wherever was else. That's what he would have done.

As he walked towards his hotel room, Spike found himself smiling. NO matter what, she was still Buffy. You could take away her destiny, her friends, her family, her weapons, leave her with nothing laying beaten on the ground, but she was still Buffy and as she had once told Angelus, she still had herself. That would be enough.

Spike pulled the slip of paper out of his pocket and tore it up. She didn't need him. She didn't really even want him. And he was amused to find that he didn't really want her anymore either. He had solved the elusive puzzle, found the missing piece and now, he was free.

The pieces of paper tumbled out of Spike's hand and onto the wet street. A taxi honked at him annoyed. Spike turned to the man in the car, and bowed deeply to him. His laugh echoed off the walls of the city and disappeared into the night.


End file.
